Oh, hey, you still here?

I didn't think anyone was around anymore. Except my sister, who recently gave me crap for never updating. The truth is, I've lost some interest in the blog and I've even cut back on the number of blogs I read. With my new job(!) and busy schedule, I think the ol' blog is going to fall even more by the wayside. Like going out of business. But we'll see.

So, since I last posted, life has been pretty crazy. The BF and I went to Vegas back in January. We had a good time, but I learned that I'm definitely not a Vegas person and he is. But that's okay. We had three fundraisers in one month for the Lilith Fund, which was N.U.T.S. I've never been so sleep deprived. If I'd had time to make a doctor's appointment, I'm pretty sure they would have put me on Xanax right away!

I also had TONS of work stress going on. In a nutshell, it was workplace gone horribly, horribly wrong. I totally took my former boss for granted and when she finally escaped and moved on to greener pastures, her absence was immediately and acutely felt. I never appreciated the extent to which she shielded us from the craziness and incompetency from above and when she was gone, it all went downhill fast. I became deeply unhappy and applied for another job. I interviewed right away, but had to wait a full month. It was pure hell. Since I didn't bother to hide my dissatisfaction or desire to leave, the director decided that it meant I had resigned. Granted, there was no resignation letter or final day of work given or any of the technicalities involved in a resignation, such as "I resign" or "I quit." "I'm starting to look at other options," and "I've gotten all I can out of this job and there's no room for any professional development for me," are not the same as "I resign." They also do not mean that suddenly my character had changed and I would abandon my clients and coworkers and do something extreme and unprofessional. It was truly awful and when I finally got a job offer and could give them a real resignation, I was more jubilant than I can even express. I felt so free that I didn't even give them the tongue-lashing I felt they deserved. I was just ready to move on after I'd wrapped up my cases or passed them on. I even took on a significant expense (for which I have yet to be reimbursed) in order to attend one of my client's hearings four hours away, which also meant that I gave more than two weeks' notice and put off starting the new job (which pays more) to do it.

But move on I have. Today is my second day of work as an assistant county attorney. I'm in the same line of work - domestic violence - but I have all these new challenges in front of me and I can't wait to get to the point where I know what I'm doing. And the people I work with are awesome. I'm just so, so, soooo glad to be able to work for someone I truly like and respect again. It makes such a difference.

What else? The BF and I went to San Francisco back in March. I'm used to going out there & seeing friends, so he got dragged along on much of that. I tried to make sure we did some fun stuff, too. We biked across the Golden Gate to Sausalito, went up to the top of Coit Tower, went to the beach a couple of times and had delicious paella and sangria in the Mission. I'm glad he got to meet some of the most important and special people in my life, but it was definitely a whirlwind trip. We're planning the next one already. Well, I should say, we've planned the next one. Bought tickets to Berlin in early September and already book flights and lodging there and in Krakow, Prague, Salzburg and Munich. Munich for Oktoberfest! Woo! I have my usual "can I really afford this?" anxiety and saving for the trip has made for some lean times. But he keeps telling me not to worry, that he'll have plenty of money. And I'm learning to be okay with that. I'm just not used to dating someone I don't have to support. It's really fucking awesome, actually. What have I been doing all these years?

Then there's the really big news! I'm actually doing the Danskin this year! I'm signed up and everything. Training has had its ups and downs. Swimming was giving me major anxiety and I was about to back out, but then I did an open water swim clinic and realized that I can swim a half mile in open water. And I really wasn't all that exhausted either. Sure, I spent most of it doing the breath stroke, but that's not too bad. I'll get through it. The biking isn't going to be too bad either. I can do 12 miles no problem, even with the hills. I had a minor setback this week when I finally dusted off my bike and realized that all the modifications the ex had done made it completely unsuitable. Not to mention the bad mojo. But the BF pulled through again and I'm going to use his bike. This week I started struggling with running, so the BF is now my coach/motivator and he rides the bike alongside me to keep me motivated while I run. He also goes to the pool with me and while I'm training, he waits for me outside and has water and a towel ready when I return. He's also going to be there doing a victory dance when I cross the finish line. I mean, damn! What have I been doing all these years? I could have been dating considerate, supportive, non-losers! Or maybe if I hadn't been with all those losers, life would have never brought this guy into my life. Maybe this is my reward for all the losers. But really I think it has more to do with my intentions and my more careful choice this time around. I took the time to think about the mistakes I'd made and realize what I wanted and deserved. And then I was lucky enough to meet someone that meet all the criteria and it's worked out splendidly.

So, that's where I am. Pretty much in shock that things can be going this well. Still worried that that other shoe will drop. But you know, when it does, I'll handle it. Life deals blows and the important thing is to keep moving forward, even when it sucks super hard. I've worked really hard to get to a good place in my life and I deserve this. And I'll keep working, keep chipping away at my debts, keep on moving toward an even better place in my life.

End sappy inspirational pep talk.

Aren't you glad I finally updated?