First there are the multiple parties at work. Seriously, we only have something like 15 staff, so why do we need a potluck, then an office open house, then an office party at night, then a gift exchange? After that comes my birthday and I don't want to talk about it. I hate my birthday.
Then there's the gift pressure. I'm fine with getting gifts for other people, even though I almost always end up broke and scrambling to pay bills as a result, but receiving gifts makes me uncomfortable for some reason. I mean, I like it okay, but I'm just one of those weirdos that feels all awkward getting presents. Yeah, I know. On the way back from Dallas today, the BF asked me what I want. Hell if I know. I feel for the guy because it's probably hard to shop for me in general and definitely after only a few months of dating, right? But I'm already scrambling to come up with a couple things to tell my parents and grandparents and no one will just go for the "no gifts" policy I'd prefer to institute. And then I realize that I don't know what I'm going to get him. It's been awhile since any of this was even an issue because my last boyfriend was totally lame and usually broke, so there wasn't much in the way of gifts.*
Actually, while I'm going there, let's recount them, shall we?
- The card promising a trip to La Pesca, a little fishing village in Mexico on the Gulf. No, not tickets to La Pesca or reservations or anything that would indicate us actually ever going there, but a card with a "promise" to take me there whenever he got a steady job. You guessed it. There was never a trip to La Pesca. Or anywhere that I didn't plan and pay for.
- Multiple CDs that I would maybe get to listen to for about a week before he would "borrow" (i.e. hoard) and I would never see again. And usually they were CDs that he wanted for himself more than CDs I'd indicated I wanted, which I never did anyway. Because I use more modern technology most of the time for my music purchases and listening. Fortunately for him we had similar tastes in music, but unfortunately that also meant it would piss me off that much more when the CDs disappeared.
- A silver bracelet from the import shop that unfortunately bent easily. It was pretty and I have to give him credit for trying to get me some jewelry, which is kinda what guys think women want, right? I really don't wear jewelry. But I'm not going to complain too much about it because it was probably the best thing I ever got during those six years.
- I'm sure he gave me other stuff, right? That I'm just not remembering? I don't want to sound too bitchy because I know he tried. One Christmas he spent a bunch of money he didn't really have on gifts for my family (mostly CDs) and they were all kind of mean to him that year and I felt really horrible. They were much less tolerant of his, uh, shortcomings than I was. But yeah, if he ever gave me other stuff, I don't even remember what I might have been. I think most years I just said, "Yeah, let's not do gifts this year." And he was more than happy to oblige.
So, yeah, it happens. I'm pretty forgiving. But there are ways you handle this major fuck up, right? You show up the next day with flowers. You cook me a spectacular meal. You perform amazing feats of sexual trickery. You give me the back rub to end all back rubs. You do something, right? Not that guy. He did nothing. In fact, he couldn't even be bothered to drive the 2o miles from his house to mine for at least another five days. And then he showed up with a present, a Sopranos book.
You know, the TV series. That had been off the air for several years. Oh sure, I watched the Sopranos and thought it was quality TV programming. But I didn't even care to own the DVDs or anything, much less own a paperback with pictures and whatnot from the show. I don't actually know what was in that book because I never even opened it before I threw it in a yard sale. So yeah, beginning of the bitter end there. Although I suppose you could argue that the beginning of the end started long before then. I mean, someone forgets your birthday and then gets you a Sopranos book, it was over long ago, right?
So now it's a year later and I'm dealing with holiday anxiety and the pressure of gift giving a year later. I've definitely upgraded in the boyfriend department. But it doesn't totally take away the desire to hibernate until January 1st. Anyone want to offer some advice on how to get through the next month? Happy holidays!
*This is not counting the first Valentine's Day after we'd been dating for about two months, when he got me several nice gifts, which were also kind of strange but thoughtful in their own way. I kinda feel like those gifts were the biggest decoys ever, meant to trick me into thinking I was dating someone I really wasn't.
