Budding young photogs: part one

Today I'm heading to see the Dinoland exhibit with my coworker's 7 year-old son. She tells me he's interested in photography, so I'm going to bring my equipment and let him go to town. I'm pretty excited to get to hang out with him today - he's a really neat kid and I enjoy getting to spend time with kids that I don't later have to take home and raise. And since I'm not an aunt, I just have to borrow other people's children. Binjo Ditch, I'll have to plan a trip to the Woodlands sometime soon to borrow your precocious bunch.

On Thanksgiving, I knew I wanted to take lots of pictures of my cousin's adorable kids. There's the oldest and the only boy, Hunter. Then his stepsister, Ana, who is so much the little model, jumping in front of the lens every chance she gets. And then there's Sage, the middle child with two younger baby sisters. She and Ana don't share any DNA and there's just a three month age difference between them, but they look like they could be fraternal twins, right down to the identical smattering of freckles across their noses. Sage is a quiet one, slyly formulating plans in her pretty little head, acting coy while doing it. She's very deliberate, but you can tell she knows exactly what she's doing and where she's going with it. Even as a baby, she was always very calm and quiet. I remember one Christmas when she was maybe two years old and her mom did something that upset her. She didn't cry or throw a tantrum or even make a sound, but she slowly turned around, crossed her little arms over the back of the couch, and put her head down as if to say, "No, I don't want anything to do with you!"

So I stuck my camera in Sage's hand, putting the strap around her neck and showing her how to hold it steady. At first I didn't have the settings on fully automatic, but that didn't stop her from getting some good shots. All day that little one took photos, the camera almost as large as her head. She'd get down on her knees to be on the level as the subject, her little sister. She took her time framing shots. She was thoughtful and gave it her all. Here are the results of her efforts:



Not bad for someone who turns five years old next month! With the exception of one photo where I cropped out an unhealthy dose of my cottage cheese upper thigh, I didn't enhance or crop these photos in any way.

Her brother Hunter also took some good photos and you can find them here. And here's the rest of my Thanksgiving set.

gracias

Today I'm heading down to Victoria with Andrew (yes, I referenced a break-up in a post about a month ago...it didn't take) and our 90 year-old retired history professor friend to have Thanksgiving with my parents, grandparents, uncle and cousins (including 5 little ones). I both love and hate Thanksgiving. I generally dislike all holidays, yet Thanksgiving is all about food, which is awesome. But given that I'm about 30 pounds heavier than I'd like to be and the T-giving food is a carb and fat minefield, I can no longer love the holiday without also hating it and myself. Damn you society (and growing up with a ballet instructor) for making me so body-conscious. Totally blows.

But it's a day to give thanks, so that's what I'm going to do here now:

• I'm thankful that I'm healthy and I come from some healthy stock. All my grandparents are in their 80's, still alive and healthy both physically and mentally. No major health issues on either side of the family.
• I'm thankful that I have my parents and both sets of grandparents in my life. Not everyone can say that they knew all of their grandparents, much less have them still very much a part of their life as they get closer and closer to middle age. (Oh dear god, I'm getting closer to middle age!)
• I'm thankful I have two wonderful siblings who don't totally hate me, despite the older sister torture I regularly instituted.
  
• I'm thankful that I have my mind and the realization that I can use it to achieve things.
• I'm thankful that I'm employed and have health care at a time when so many don't.
• I'm thankful for my friends and family, who still love me even though I've been in a cocoon of my own making for at least the past year.
• I'm thankful that I have everything I need and more.
• I'm thankful that I managed to come out of a period of my young life that could have become very dark and destructive and instead found a drive and a goodness that has made me the person I am today. I am grateful that I have compassion and empathy and a willingness to sacrifice personal gain to help others.
• I am thankful for all those I've worked with or known over the years that have been an example to me of how to be good and caring and kind, working to serve others despite humanity totally sucking balls much of the time.
• I'm thankful I've gotten to see some of the world, and that it has opened my eyes and made me more tolerant and curious than about 66% of Americans. (Maybe more, maybe less - I'm basing that on a figure I saw recently that only 34% of Americans have passports. That number was higher than I would have assumed, but maybe that's because Americans needs passports to go to Cancun now.

So, I guess that's enough for now. What about the rest of you? Happy American Thanksgiving!

Un poco de todo

I haven't blogged in what feels like a long time. Call it lack of motivation, exhaustion, lack in inspiration, general laziness, being really busy, whatever. But things have been building up in my head and here they come, spewing out. So here's a sampler of my recent thoughts/feelings/obsessions:

The Obamas
Oh my god I cannot get enough of them, mostly those adorable girls. I'm trying to rein it in so it doesn't reach creepy stalker levels or anything, but I totally want to move to DC to be their nanny, mostly so I can hang out with Michelle. And the remote possibility of catching our new president in his bathrobe. It's an illness and I need help. The other day I was in the grocery check-out line and bought every single tabloid with the Obama family on the cover. None of the articles told me anything new, but I can't stop looking at pictures of them. I am so stoked about Obama, people, and also really nervous. Can we please please please put him in the Popemobile already? I can't say it enough. The crazy racists in this country scare me and I don't know if I can handle it if something happens to him or his gorgeous family. Aaaaand now I've made it all about me.

Aniston vs. Jolie
WHO. FREAKING. CARES. Can you believe the tabs are still beating that dead horse. We all know Angelina stole Jen's husband. Brad and Jen divorced FOUR YEARS AGO. Angelina and Brad now continue to annoy us with their herd of small children that they drag all over the globe. Jen's doing her thing, which appears to be slightly cougarish, but that's cool. She's beautiful and has a rockin' bod and tons of money. Whatever. I really don't see how this "feud" is relevant anymore. Although it's going to be really interesting when those 15 kids the Jolie-Pitts drag around all hit puberty and start doing hard-core drugs and shit. That will be entertaining. Because you know it's going to happen.

Christmas
I think I say this every year, but I hate that this shit starts earlier and earlier all the time. It's effing torture. We had a Thanksgiving potluck at work today and someone suggested we listen to Christmas carols, a suggestion that was promptly vetoed. Although we probably should have because I totally overate and the carols would have facilitated my vomiting up all that food and I would not have been in as much pain.

Gender bending on Facebook
All of you with FB accounts have probably noticed that the ads are totally obnoxious. Every single one of the ads on my page were for diets. Every one. All the time. Because OBVIOUSLY that's all I think about and all I would possibly be interested in, given the presence of a uterus in my body. OBVIOUSLY all women need to lose weight, or at least need to be made to feel like they do. While I liked to think that I was ignoring those ads, the truth was that they would get stuck in my subconscious and then I'd be at the store and find myself in the diet pill aisle, looking for Acai berry BECAUSE OPRAH DID IT! Evil, evil, evil. Then I saw this feministing article and I promptly removed gender from my FB profile (which confused FB at first, but eventually it accepted my lack of gender identity) and BLAM! No more diet ads.

The World Leaders Bush Handshake Snub
I had about 5 seconds of pity for him when I saw this video on freakgirl, but then I remembered, "Oh, wait. He totally brought this on himself! Ha!" I think later on in the day, after this had made the blog rounds and got posted on every single social networking site on the planet, there was some explanation for it out of the Bush camp. But I don't care. I think they all hate him and don't want to touch his smelly hand. I'm going to stick to that.

Cheney indictment
I don't actually think much will come out of it, but I think it's hilarious. Even more amusing is a news article I saw the other day that included the phonetic spellings of the Latino last names. For their extra-white readers.

Ugly Betty
I'm still liking this show, mostly because underneath the absurdity and the fashion and the colorfulness, it's got real substance and heart. Yes, there's the ongoing nature of how Betty stays true to herself/loves herself as she is/is successful and self-confident while not compromising her integrity and yadda yadda yadda. No, what I love the most is how this show has handled gay and transgender issues. The other night I was watching and I just kept thinking, "God, I LOVE how Hilda just accepts her obviously gay son exactly how he is and always supports him in his interests, always urging him to be who he is without apology." The son never has to say he's gay and no one else comes out and says it. But it's not like he's an in-the-closet, we-don't-discuss-it gay son. He is who he is and they love, accept and support him and there is no need to slap labels on him or have a freakin' parade. It's total acceptance and I love to see it shown on national television every week.

The Palin Turkey Incident
Don't get me wrong. I want her to fade into obscurity as much as the next feminist, and by even talking about her, I'm not making that happen any sooner, but this was too good to pass up. Have you seen the video of her giving some interview while turkeys are slaughtered in the background? She's just chatting away about stuff being "on the chopping block" while poultry is flailing around in some sort of blood-draining device behind her. She even mentions how she's happy to be there and it's so much fun. Apparently it was one of those "pardon the turkey" stunts, which kind of loses its impact when at least two turkeys are show being killed right there on camera. I don't know if the news outlet just hates her or if they were too stupid to realize it wasn't exactly the most ideal shot. And the yahoo in the background just stands there looking at the camera while the turkey is decapitated and then he goes and get another one and repeats. Um, take a 5 minute break, dude. Do you really want to be on TV that bad?

Olbermann on gay marriage - a MUST SEE

The following video from Keith Olbermann's show is making the rounds, as well it should. Everyone should hear his words - very eloquent and powerful. I literally cried watching this.



via freakgirl and Amanda's Facebook posting.

So, just what exactly IS going on "down there?"

When I flew to Chicago last month, I was in the mood for the most ridiculously trashy reading available to me. I contemplated the offerings of US Weekly, People and the other tabs, but most of them were focused on how Angelina Jolie got so skinny after giving birth to twins (duh - like C-section isn't celebrity code for "mommy tuck") and I just couldn't stomach that. No, I wanted something far, far trashier. So, I did something I never do. I purchased a Cosmo.

I had to! This was the cover:


Bad girl sex! You know how the table of contents describes that article? "Good girls go to heaven. But bad girls go to pleasure heaven." Ohhhh, pleasure heaven! I want to go there!

Am I normal down there? Well, if you have to ask... The gist of this article - which mostly focused on some really tame kinks instead of actual vaginas - was that dudes don't even notice. Revelatory! And if you think you're loose, he's probably small. And do some Kegels. One woman worries she might be addicted to her vibrator. As if it's possible to love your vibe too much!

There are plenty of tips on how to pleasure a man. Here's a tip: have an orafice and be willing to let him stick his penis in it. That's pretty much all it takes. There. I just summed it all up and Cosmo can go out of business now.

The cougar article was a total waste of time. Did you know they're out to get your man? Yes, we are ON THE PROWL and looking for immature twenty-something college douchebags to steal right from under you (or over you or behind you or whatever current Cosmo-recommended sexual position you're in). Be afraid! Fortunately, Cosmo gives you some tricks on how to keep that from happening. Basically, don't play games, don't act like you need a man for money or sperm donation, stay in shape and be a HUUUUGE slut in the sack. Yeah, okay.

Then there was the "lose weight while you eat" article, which was a massive disappointment. Drink water, have yogurt for breakfast instead of a bagel, drink green tea, eat more protein, and spicy foods can boost your metabolism in negligible quantities. Groundbreaking.

But really, the worthlessness of this rag can be best summed up by the table of contents. Listed under "Cosmo News": Hot Sheet (gossip), Beauty Stakeout: Celebrity Cat Eyes, Guy Style Stakeout: Dressed up or Dressed down and Sexy vs. Skanky. And then there's the "Man Manual," including "Cosmo for Your Guy" because guys read Cosmo. Obviously.

Oh, and don't text a guy when you're drunk, angry, when you're trying to be funny, when you've already texted him and after the first few dates (it'll ruin the thrill of the chase). I'm pretty sure while you're not texting someone because you don't want to seem too forward, self-confident, and witty, those cougars are already on their Blackberries, stealing your man with their no-game-playing. Thanks, Cosmo, thanks for screwing that up for me! Although the no drunk texting is a good general rule, no matter who is the recipient.

In the end, I could barely even skim this magazine without gagging. Next time I'll just suck it up and read about Brangelina.

A kernal of hope

On election night, when I was torn between jumping up and down happy and fuming over homophobia, a lesbian couple at the election party with me told me not to get so upset, that they really believed Obama's election was still a small step in the right direction, despite the passing of Prop H8te. Today I saw this on feministing regarding the Obama nondiscrimination policy:

"The Obama-Biden Transition Project does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, age, national origin, veteran status, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability, or any other basis of discrimination prohibited by law."

Sexual orientation AND gender identity! Pretty badass. Not sure how it'll all translate in the end, but between that and Obama's acceptance speech inclusion of "gay or straight", I do have hope.

I double dog dare you

To watch this video and not tear up when the kid starts to break down talking about Obama. (Sorry, I tried to embed the video but stupid CNN tells me it's a "malformed error" and I've become youtube-stupid and can't find the embed code.) If you aren't touched by that YOU ARE DEAD INSIDE.

I promise these election/Obama posts will cease. Just indulge me for awhile.

thoughts on the election

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a great night. I was antsy all day and by 6pm, I could barely sit still. I was supposed to pick up Kelley at 7 and I was right on time because I was totally going NUTS sitting in my living room watching the news. So, Kelley and I made our way to the first election party in East Austin. They had enormous TV screens everywhere, an open bar and catered food. But I was saving myself for our third stop and my future sister-in-law's delicious food. However, I saw the big basket of chips and giant bowls of fresh guacamole and salsa and then....queso! So, I loaded up my plate and took a bite and UGGG!! It was totally movie theater cheese. Gross. Why have catered food, including a damn beef carving station, with fresh salsa & real guacamole and then screw it up with bad queso? Criminal. We blew that taco stand.

After we stopped by the queso-defiling party, we stopped by Melissa and Luke's get together to say hi. By this time I was getting hungry and had been postponing my serious drinking for our final stop, and I felt the champagne calling my name. I was like a kid with ADD on Halloween night after scarfing all the sugar. I could not sit still from excitement. So, when we arrived at Jed and Ashley's, I decided to call it early for Obama and popped the cork on the first bottle.

I can't even describe the feeling when I saw that CNN had called it for Obama, just before 10pm. I did quite a bit of jumping up and down, ignoring my still-injured ankle (or maybe it was all the champagne). By that point in the night, it was a foregone conclusion. Obama was close to 270 even without the West Coast, so we knew it was just a matter of minutes. This was the first time in 12 years we've had a president announced before midnight and I forgot how much more fun that is than waiting in limbo for agonizing days or weeks. Even more than the excitement over Obama, having that election night finality really felt like maybe our country was finally starting to heal a little, finally getting back to a more healthy place.

Then there was McCain's speech, which I thought was very classy. I've heard several people comment on how the speech was more in keeping with who he really is, and not the ugly, desperate campaign that he ran. It really got embarrassingly nasty towards the end and you know who made it worse? Palin. I hate to admit it, but I took great pleasure in her sad face standing behind McCain, like a little girl who had just had her puppy taken away. I realized in that moment, looking at her face, that she really believed they were somehow going to win it. She really believed that. And that all the nasty vitriol that spewed out of her mouth over the last two months was something good, something that would work to get her in the White House. Frankly, I don't think Palin understands what it's like to be a true public servant. I get the impression she just likes the attention, and would be completely self-serving in office. And if the reports that have been surfacing since the election are true, we really dodged a bullet. Seriously? How could she have not understood that Africa is a continent made up of many different countries? Could that really be true? Could she really have been that stupid and ill-informed? Had she never looked at a map? Did she think Niger and Chad and Rwanda, etc. etc. etc. were just states? I can see how West Africa and South Africa might have confused her. But come on! Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! And the allegation that she wanted to give a concession speech too. Oh dear lord. Those staffers really hated her.

Then Obama's speech. I watched it again online when I got home from work yesterday, with tears streaming down my face. Oh sure, he's not perfect. He'll have to compromise so much as President that my far left friends will be whining and crying about what a sell-out he is, it's just more of the same, blah blah blah. But as I've grown older and slightly less idealistic, I realize that unfortunately that's the way politics works. He can't come in and be extreme lefty because he has to represent the entire diverse nation. And in his speech, he acknowledged that. He talked about how he would be the president of those who didn't vote for him, too. With Obama, I don't get the sense of someone who is in it for his own benefit, to get richer and more powerful. I truly believe that he is at his core a public servant. He inspires me, someone who also wants to do good in the world. And he's such a great orator, so steady, so articulate. And he's a Constitutional scholar, which, after the last 8 years, is a HUGE relief! And I love the dynamic he has with his family, his wife and two gorgeous daughters. You can tell that the Obamas are really in love, that they have great respect and admiration for each other. It's not a political marriage, but two people who support each other and have a healthy relationship. So refreshing!

So, yeah, I'm really happy. I can't wait to see what the next four years brings. President Obama faces an enormous task in bettering the country he's inherited and it won't be easy. And he's not a magic wand. It's going to take time and the engagement of all of us to make things better. I don't expect him to magically fix everything in his first 100 days. But I do have confidence in him. As Andrew drove me home on election night, I had a strong feeling that now I want to go to DC. I've been thinking quite a bit about what I want to do next, as I think the time is nearing to make a move, and I'm thinking that now's the time to look at doing something on the national level, and perhaps to hang up this lawyer thing that I don't really like so much. Sigh. Back at square one.

Wednesday was a new day, a new hangover. I woke up early and couldn't sleep thinking about it, so I got out the laptop and absorbed news. It was an emotional morning, not really helped by my lack of sleep and raging headache. All day I was pretty weepy. I was relieved to hear that the South Dakota abortion ban was defeated for the second time, as was parental notification in California and a proposition to define a zygote as a person in Colorado. In local news, Harris County went blue! And Democrats won all but three of the judicial races, which, for those of you not familiar with Harris County, is a BIG FREAKIN' DEAL. Dems gained in the Texas legislature as well. And, of course, on a national level, Dems gained even more seats in Congress.

But things hadn't been looking good for gay rights when I went to bed Tuesday night and they hadn't improved by morning. Prop 8 in California has likely passed, though Equality California is not going to give up the fight until the last of the 3 million absentee ballots has been counted. It was a close vote, which doesn't make it sting any less. The Arizona and Florida man/woman marriage amendments won in landslides. Bigots. And in Arkansas, the voters outlawed gay foster and adoptive parents. A sad day for our country, even while it was so monumental.

And since I got my wish on election night, I'm going to get greedy and demand more. Here's my new wish for this country: that someday soon we ALL have equal rights to marry, inherit, adopt, foster, etc. And that politicians start standing up for gay rights and when they do, it won't mean political suicide. And this begins with me and with you, by speaking out and by fighting for equality. This cannot just be GLBTQQI folks fighting for these rights, but all of us. We have to stand up and make this the new majority position. It's time to march, time to call out for real change. Time to eradicate homophobia. Yes we can.

And just to add some inspiration, I'm going to quote the last part of Obama's acceptance speech, which I found particularly moving. And the next time we celebrate an historic victory like Tuesday night, I hope that another paragraph will be added to this speech: She saw her right to marry her longtime partner given to her, then taken away, only to be restored and affirmed nationally. Yes we can.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight's about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing: Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons -- because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America -- the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination.

And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change.

Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves -- if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment.

This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.

Yeah, Nader, go f*ck yourself

So, I don't have to tell you, blogosphere, that I'm in a pretty good mood today! For the first time in twelve years, I went to bed knowing who the next president would be and for the first time in twelve years, I was happy with the outcome. I was blown away by the response here and abroad, all the celebrating and outpouring of emotion. I don't recall ever seeing that following a presidential election - literal revelry in the streets around the world. It was a big freaking deal.

When I was 18 years old and a freshman in college, I voted for Bill Clinton in 1992. I'm ashamed to admit that in 1996, I was a stupid idealist and voted for Ralph Nader. In earnest. In 2000, I also cast a vote for Nader, but I stood in the voting booth for a long time and debated it. I really wanted to vote for Gore, but in Texas my vote wouldn't matter very much and I ultimately decided to vote for the Green Party candidate (Nader) in the hopes that they'd get a large enough percentage of the vote to become a viable third party. They didn't, and in 2004 Nader ditched them and hasn't looked back. So, he really wasn't serious about building a viable third party then? What was he doing? Is he the political equivalent of Paris Hilton, a big ol' attention whore? He used to do great work, but honestly, I'm not sure what he does anymore. The last thing he's listed as doing (besides run for president and star in a documentary) was start the nonprofit group Democracy Rising, which I haven't heard from in years either and whose national website is now defunct. So, uh, great work, Nader.

But he's a smart guy, so he had to know what he was saying when he said this:

To put it very simply, he is our first African American president; or he will be. And we wish him well. But his choice, basically, is whether he's going to be Uncle Sam for the people of this country or Uncle Tom for the giant corporations.

What.
The.
Fuck?

Now check out this video of a Fox News reporter asking him about his remarks. Go, watch it now. It's only 3 minutes. I'll wait til you get back.

What'd you think? The reporter cracked me up. "Seriously? What was that?" He gave Nader several opportunities to retract what I feel and what the reporter obviously felt was a racially charged statement that was entirely inappropriate. He didn't have to use the words "Uncle Tom" to get his meaning across. And if Obama weren't black, he wouldn't have used them. Yeah, I'm saying it: Ralph Nader is a big, fat, ugly racist! Or he said it to make waves and get more attention, but there are much better ways. And then the reporter said what I've been thinking ever since Nader decided to run again for his own self-aggrandizement, "You've been reduced to irrelevancy."

Last night was historic and I have some hope for the future. But we need to move past racist remarks. This country has a long way to go.

UPDATE: Dear goddess! I just google "ralph nader racist" and the results were astounding! This was not an isolated incident. In one comment, he attacks Obama for acting too white, as if Obama is supposed to be conforming to some racist stereotype that Nader holds just because he's half black. Disgusting.

It's finally election day!

I really should have taken a vacation day because my productivity is quite low today. I don't have to tell you all how excited I am at the prospect of what is likely to happen tonight. The champagne is chilling.

However, there's a dark cloud over this election, in the form of all the anti-gay propositions on various state ballots. In Florida there's an anti-gay amendment on the ballot, one of those nasty amendments that define marriage as between one man and one woman. In Arkansas, there's Prop 1, which would ban gay foster parents. And then there's California's Prop 8, which is in danger of passing. It makes me sick.

But don't take it from me. I live in a state with one of those ugly "marriage" amendments in the state constitution. I don't want to marry anyone and I'm straight. So, no, it doesn't directly affect me. But what hurts the ones I care about still hurts me, and the truth is that I care about everyone adversely affected by this hate, strangers and friends alike. I'd like to share with you the words of my friend Ellen, a Texan now living in San Francisco, whose California legal marriage is in jeopardy today.

I don't know how many of you reading this have actually been personally, specifically targeted by legislation like this, but, for those of you who haven't, I'd like to try and describe how it feels. Basically, it feels terrible.

This weekend we were out driving around the city, and we definitely saw more than a handful of the Yes on 8 signs. People might think this is "just politics," but it's personally, brutally insulting. I felt unwelcome outside of the city. The campaign for the anti-equality amendment in Texas is one of the things that made me want to leave the place I really loved, and I am feeling echoes of those feeling now.

It seems dramatic, I know, but it's simply how it makes me feel. You can take steps to protect yourself, you can invest thousands on legal work to keep you and your relationship safe, you can completely understand that the people supporting these measures are full of hate and/or ignorance, but it doesn't keep you from recognizing that you personally are being targeted for who you are.

This, I suppose, is one of things that reminds me to be as empathetic as I can at all times, strive to find ways to be politically involved, and watch out for those who have less power. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I know all of this makes me a better person, but ... I'd like to find another way, please.

I hope for Ellen's and Kyre's sake and for everyone else in California and around the world that Proposition 8 is defeated. And that one day soon we can move toward a more tolerant and loving society that stops discriminating against people for just being who they are.

need input: cell phones

It's cell phone upgrade time and I'm ready to splurge on something decent this time around. I'm hankering for one of them fancy "smart" phones, like a Blackberry or the G1 or even an iphone. Here's the thing: I'm not a big fan of the iphone. They're okay and all, but whenever I've played around on one, I just haven't been wowed. And I'd have to change cell providers, which is another downside. So that leaves something in the Blackberry family or the G1. Readers, any input on phones? I want to be able to check my email, look shit up on the internet, update Twitter, Facebook, and other time wasters, take photos and send them to whatever (this blog, Facebook, etc.), text, etc., and also have it be kinda sturdy. So, which phones do all of you use and what are the pros and cons? Any suggestions for me?

barely contained

ZOMFG, y'all! I am so freakin' excited about Tuesday! It's like I'm 10 years old and I'm about to get that Barbie dream house for Christmas. I can hardly wait. I've written Santa and I'm sure he's going to deliver this year because I want it so bad. I've waited eight long, depressing, frustrating years for this Barbie dream house and goddamn it, if I don't get it, I'm going to kick and scream and cry and move to some remote island with no TV and no internet and stick my head in the sand. I swear.